no more summer vacations
When I graduated and realized that there is no more looking forward to the end of the school year, I felt hollow and more like falling in an endless pit, because, well, summer vacations are the best things that are ever invented.
I have very little idea when being youthful ends and real adulthood starts. When I pay my own bills I feel like a true adult, then I watch Phineas and Ferb episodes over dinner and then I'm 10 again. I've yet to find a better gauge for it other than the fact that since I'm employed, I have PTOs instead of summer vacations. Not the most desirable alternative.
Maybe the end of my academic career hasn't sunk in quite well yet. Or that I've been propelled to a new routine so quickly that I don't realize yet the gravity of my accomplishment of finishing school. Or it just doesn't matter to me that much anymore. I've since realigned what I want from this life. To start off, I just want my own house and having the means to see and experience the world, like you or anyone else.
But I yearn for a forever summer vacation someday. Where I can do anything and nothing is expected from me. Can you imagine?
Waking up without an alarm, having snacks and food to cook, going to the beach, going on a road trip, an afternoon all to yourself, hanging out with friends, reading a book for fun, and just... living.
Some people would call this retirement or whatever, but it all could have been so simple if it only weren't so ridiculously expensive to do whatever you want. And if there's one thing about me, it's that I want.